Changing a Family Forever Through Surrogacy | Reproductive Fertility Center

Changing a Family Forever Through Surrogacy

Most families wanting to use a surrogate aren’t famous. Many have no children at all. Often the miracle of surrogacy is a woman’s only chance at having a child or for the couple to have a child together. It’s not cheap and it is a sacrifice of time, tests and patience for them as well, but they believe it is time and money well spent. They believe in the sanctity of family.

What does the surrogate get out of it?

A surrogate holds a special place in the making of a family. One surrogate mother, for the fourth time, expresses “the opportunity to give back.” They also feel that they are teaching their children the art of giving back.

One surrogate described the desire to help a gay friend who wanted to be a parent. She was further inspired through a soap opera portraying the happy union and the joy brought to the parents. Instead of just thinking about it and hoping, she was motivated to make a difference in another family’s life.

Another surrogate states she is paying it forward because she and her husband “got off easy” when it came to infertility issues. She knew there were couples who were not so lucky. She knew there were those who went through years of doctor visits and uncomfortable procedures only to find that they could not conceive.

Oftentimes there is someone close who cannot have children, such as one surrogate’s sister-in-law with cystic fibrosis. The mother could not carry a child but doctors could genetically create a healthy egg. To this surrogate it was knowing she was helping her own family grow, helping someone she knew personally and loved.

There are two types of surrogates. For gestational surrogates or carriers, there is no genetic relationship. The egg can either be from the intended mother or from an egg donor. A traditional surrogate is a genetic parent and is usually inseminated. The type of procedure used is typically determined by the health of the intended parents.

As society is experiencing more of this type of child birth, they are also coming to the understanding that the child matters most. Within that care is helping the child understand their birth circumstances and to include, if possible, the chance for the child to meet or know the surrogate.

The “no-secrets” approach

There is a lot of sacrifice that goes along with being a surrogate. But what do we truly appreciate and understand value without the involvement of some type of sacrifice?

Surrogacy is not a role that should not be stepped into lightly. There are tests, both physically and mentally, that ensures one is fit and prepared. There are contracts and commitments.  But the rewards of literally giving the true gift of life are insurmountable.

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